


Date: Take Two

by Anonysaurus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, dirk strider - Freeform, funny how those two go together, jake english - Freeform, rated "S" for sailor swears, swearing and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonysaurus/pseuds/Anonysaurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was a date, your second to be exact, and this time you weren’t going to fuck it up."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Date: Take Two

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my awesome moirail Sky~  
>  ~~The idea first came to me when I saw[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMuYRKQNygE) ~~

_Ring_  
Ring  
Ring

Come on, pick up

_Ring_  
Ring  
Rin-

“’Ello?”

“O-Oh uh hey man” _He picked up, good, phase one complete. Onto phase two._

“Uh Dirk? You there mate?” _Shit, say something!_

“Yeah! I’m here. Hey Jake speaking of being here do you want to be here with me? Shit no uh I mean do you want to be somewhere else with me?”

“Oh sure Dirk, where’d you have in mind?” _Phase two complete._

“I was thinking we’d hit the arcade, maybe catch a movie too?”

“Sounds like a rip-snortin good time!”

“Cool, pick ya up round 11?”

“It’s a date!”

_Click_

It was date, your second to be exact, and this time you weren’t going to fuck it up.

 

“Dirk, bro! It’s been like two fucking hours! I gotta take a wicked piss, get out!” Dave pounded on the door but you ignore him in favor of continuing your Legendary Shower, and you plan on breaking your record this time. The banging on the door continues for a few more minutes before it stops, “I’ll piss in your room bro! I won’t even feel bad either, that’s how wicked of a piss I gotta take! The weather calls for a 99% chance of piss storm if you don’t open the fucking door!”

So much for breaking your record.

You exit the shower, towel around your waist and decide that your various projects are more important to you than making Dave wait any longer. You barely had the door open before he bolted in and threw up the toilet lid, not caring if the door was wide open. _Damn he really did have to take a wicked piss._

“He was gonna do it too” You look over to see Bro leaning against a wall, sipping out of one of his ironic “World’s Best Mom” mugs. “Fuckin better not have, he knows to go before I take one of my legendary showers”

“Speaking of which, what’s the occasion? Got a hot date or something?” he smirks behind his mug, already knowing the answer. You swear he’s been intercepting your calls.

“I’m goin out to fuck around with Jake” You turn to go into your room but he raises his eyebrows and gives you a sly smirk, “That so?” You stop and turn back to him, “Y-You know what I mean!” He laughed and winked, “Sure do” You stomp off to your room, drowning out his laughter with the slam of your door. You loved your brothers but they could be total dicks sometimes.

            You flip a smug looking Bro off as you walk out the door and begin your trek to Jake’s house, which was basically across town. Bro offered a ride but like hell you were going to endure twenty solid minutes of his teasing, fuck that. So that leaves you with no choice but to walk the some hour and however minutes to Jake’s but now you only had about half that time before 12. Thinking back it was kind of your own fault; it took you longer than you would have liked to pick out an outfit and even longer to get your hair just right. Hey, a man’s gotta look good!

            You check the time and see you only had about ten minutes left before you’d be considered “late”. Jake wouldn’t care but you weren’t trying to impress him with your punctuality, oh no, you wanted Jake’s _grandma_ to see you as a responsible and honest person worth her grandson. But any chances of snagging her blessings are out the fucking window if you don’t put your ass into overdrive right now.

            It cost you 20 bucks to buy some kid’s bike ( _damn kid wanted 50 bucks for it! Fuckin kids these days_ ) but you pedaled like hell and now you’re on his porch, all sweaty from your bike-ride-from-hell, hair all fucked up from the wind, probably smell weird too but it’s too late to turn back now so you knock on the door before you chicken out. An elderly woman answers the door and before you can even blink there’s a shotgun pointed at your face.  
_Well who needs clean pants anyway?_

“Grandma! Put the gun down, it’s just Dirk!”

“Oh hey Jake, didn’t see ya there, what with my life flashing before my eyes in the way n’ all”

“Sorry ‘bout that mate, my Grans a bit protective” he apologized with a smile

“Protective? I thought she was just greeting me” I nod happily at Jake’s Grandma, who was a very scary woman when she wanted to be.

“’m goin out Gran, Dirk n I are gonna paint the town” he grabbed his parka vest off a chair and zipped it up. “Ready when you are” he smiled his stupid cute smile that made you want to kiss him right then. But you don’t because his Grandma is right fucking there and she’d blow your head off if you took one step near her grandson, you were sure of it. _Can’t say I blame her though, the things I’d do to that British boy- No, bad. Stop right there Strider._

“Dirk? Star Command to Dirk, come in Dirk” Jake waved his hand in front of your face and oh, yep that is drool on your face. “Shit sorry, spaced out for a second, Star Command this is Dirk “Danger” Strider; I read you loud and clear.” You give him some kind of salute which makes him laugh and soon enough you’re both out the door.

_So far, so good._

“So where’d you wanna go?”

“I thought you had something planned out?”

_Shit that’s right!_ “Ha, just testing you, how about a movie then hit the arcade?”

“Perfect!” he grins and starts walking, “Uh Jake,” he turns around “theater’s this way” you point in the opposite direction he was headed. “O-Oh dear, um perhaps you should lead the way then” he smiled sheepishly.

_I have it bad for_ this _loser? Fuckin incredible._

            “Oh! What about that one?” You didn’t have to look to know Jake was pointing at an action movie, probably one with lots of guns fights and cheesy one-liners, geez why do people even watch those anyway?

“Let’s do it bro” you walk up to buy both your tickets before Jake even thinks of buying his own and then send him off to go grab seats while you get the snacks.

            “Dirk, over here!” He waves his arm around when you walk in the theater, “Couldn’t’ve picked a close enough seat, goddamn English you’re gonna kill your eyes” you plop down in the seat next to him nonetheless, handing him a box of M&M’s while juggling the popcorn in your lap.

“The first few rows is where all the actions at! You really feel like you’re there!”

“If you want to feel like you’re there, watch a 3-D movie” you roll your eyes but he just smiles at you, knowing you don’t mind that much.

“Aren’t you gonna take your shades off? Pretty hard to see all the action with em on” Jake looks at you but you shake your head.

“Like hell I am, these babies are too awesome, it’d be borderline insulting to even think about taking them off” You were about to school him more on the ironic beauty of your anime shades but  he just rolls his eyes and turns his attention to the large screen.

You both sit there, silently watching the shitty commercials before the previews. Normally this is a time to talk more before the movie starts but you can’t find anything else to say and when you finally do the theater lights starts to dim.

“Hey Jake-”

“Shhhhh! It’s starting”

_Guess I’ll tell him later…_

            You try to watch the movie, you really do! You paid for your ticket so might as well sit through 3 hours of action scene after action scene right? Wrong. You stare at Jake the whole time, only occasionally at first out of the corner of your eye, making sure he wouldn’t notice. But eventually you realized that he was completely focused on the screen, that’s when you stopped being so subtle about staring at him.

            God! You felt like a total creep but you couldn’t stop! You’ve noticed throughout the years you’ve known Jake that he gets really into the movies he watches, and right now he looks like he’s about to jump right into the fray and help the protagonist out. You also knew he’d be yelling out move suggestions to the characters at this point but he was too much of a gentleman to interrupt the movie for others. You watch him make faces, the same faces he makes when you spar together. You look down and see his hands balled into fists, making little punching motions, you should probably look away before he notices.

But you don’t.

            “Oh man! That was _amazing!_ And the finale! Oh Dirk _tell_ me you saw that!” You both exit the theater and start your walk to the arcade, Jake raving about the movie all the way there.

“Oh yeah, there were explosions and bullets everywhere. Shit, was so mind-blowing that I’m still processing what happened. Un-fucking-real.”

“I can’t even believe it either! I thought I knew what was coming but then-Oh golly gosh! That plot twist where the villain was the hero’s long lost twin brother!” That part you did see, well enough to get the gist of what the hell was going on, and you couldn’t help but think it was an unnecessary plot device that was used too often in old action/drama movies but you kept that to yourself, Jake enjoyed it and that’s all that mattered.

            You hold the door of the arcade open for Jake, “Such a gentleman” he snickers,  
“You better fuckin believe it English” you smirk and follow him inside.

The place is noisy as hell and there’s dozens of wild children running amuck but you ignore it, “Alright English I’ll take two hundred tokens and a coke on the rocks” you tell him as you scope out what games you plan to make your bitch.

“Wh-What? Why?”

“Coke helps me focus” You tell him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 “No! Why am I buying the tokens?” he asks with a pout. How you enjoyed that pouty face.

“I paid for the movies, it’s your turn”

“But it’s like ten bucks for a hundred tokens!” he whined.

“What do I look like, a cheap date?” You give him an offended look but he knows you’re fucking with him, only about being offended though because he still goes up to the front counter for tokens.

Jake comes back with two red solo cups, one full of dirty brass tokens and the other full of carbonated sugar.

“I got us three hundred tokens so you better fucking share.” He sounded like a dad scolding his son.

A really hot dad.

A really hot British dad.

_Nope! Stopping right there!_

“Shouldn’t’ve put them all in the same cup then” You take both cups out of his hands and made your way to the gaming floor, you had games to win.

“J-Jake, be gentle with me, it’s my first time”

“What the matter Strider? Can’t-ah- take it?”

“Maybe I could if you weren’t pounding me into the ground-shit!”

“So close, just a bit more-YES! GAME OVER!”

You groan in defeat as Jake celebrates his win at the controls next to yours. You don’t even know why you let him talk you into playing Street Fighter in the first place, you were never good at fighting games and the irony is not lost on you.

“Round 2?” Jake looks over at you, a hopeful look in his eye

“And get royally fucked again? I don’t think so English. Buy me dinner first, then we’ll talk”

“Oh come on,” he whined “You didn’t even put up that much of a fight”

“That’s because you were spamming the fucking hadouken move every chance you had” You snap at him “I couldn’t even touch you. Chun Li may have some killer legs but she’s not fuckin Mr. Fantastic.” Jake just rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.

“Then don’t choose Chun Li” he says simply and you give him a look that lets him know you’re about to let him have it.

“Chun Li is the most bad ass character in this game and you can’t tell me otherwise. _Look_ at those perfectly toned thighs, the bitch could crush a guy’s skull like it was nothing, but sure Jake, I’ll change characters. I’ll be Ryu and throw energy balls in your face every time you get close, come on it’ll be fun Jake.”

Jake looks at you a bit unsure, “Uh, no th-that’s okay. We can play something-”

“No Jake, we’re doing this, round two. It’s on”

You insert more tokens before he can back out, “Hope you like balls Jake”.

You don’t play Street Fighter that often, and when you do you always choose Chun Li, so when you finally figure out Ryu’s hadouken move you let him have it.

“Oi! No fair! You only did one move” Jake whined at the Game Over screen, “Hypocrite!”

“No Jake, that was me serving up righteous retribution” You say simply, feeling pleased with yourself. Hey, no one ever accused you of being mature.

 “Anything you wanted to play? After all I did rope you into playing this one” Jake asked

“Actually, there is” You grin and look over at the game you’ve been waiting to play since you got here. “But you have to play too. No bitching, got it?” He blindly agrees, having no clue what he was agreeing to play.

_This is going to be fun._

“Oh no, you’ve got to be _joking_!” Jake whines when he sees what game you chose.

“What the hell did I _just_ say English?” You snap at him as you both approach the machine.

“No bitching” he says quietly, looking defeated

“No bitching!” You repeat louder, “That’s right, now get your ass up here and play DDR” You hop up on the floor of the game, insert the tokens, and sift through the music selections for a specific song.

You find the song you’re looking for and start the game before Jake can run off. The song starts out slow enough; you even gave Jake the easiest setting so he could at least get _some_ points.

“Man you suck at this English. I knew you had two left feet but damn, this is ridiculous!” You chuckle as he struggles to land his feet on the correct arrows. You thought you had picked a slow enough song but apparently not. The song ends and you decide you’ve tortured him enough, “Alright English, watch and learn” you slip in more tokens and flip to a more upbeat song.

“Now don’t get jealous, Jake”

“And why would I get jealous?”

“Because I’m about to make this game my bitch, but don’t worry, you’re still my favorite” You give him a quick wink before the music starts and the arrows fly up. You’re about half way through the song when you risk a glance toward Jake, who’s just _staring_.

You revert your attention back to the screen, “Might wanna wipe off the drool, don’t want anyone to slip” and you swear you see him blush.

“I wasn’t drooling, sh-shut up!”

You notice he wipes his mouth anyway.

 

You finish the song; not your best score but Jake seemed more than impressed, “Great Caesar’s ghost! That was amazing Dirk!” You swear the smile he gave you could power a fuckin sun.

“Yes, that’s it, praise me” You hold your arms out, “it makes me stronger!”

He laughs, “No really, I knew you could move fast but it just seems more impressive when you’re dancing.”

“I’m serious Jake, you know not what you do” You warn him, slowing flexing your arms like they’re gaining muscle.

“I’m serious too, I knew you were just showing off but color me impressed”

“Oh now you’ve done it” You jump off the dance floor right in front of Jake, who also jumped back looking startled, “D-Done what? Dirk?” He’s stepping back now and you’re stalking forward, “I told you English.”

“T-Told me wha-AHH!” You bend down and scoop Jake up bridal style, “D-Dirk!?”

“I told you your praise only made me stronger, but you didn’t listen, did you _Jakey?_ ” You whisper the last part in his ear and he tries to cover his embarrassment.

Adorable.

“You can put me down now Dirk, people are starting to stare” he’s looking around nervously and as much as I like seeing him flushed and flustered I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

“One condition, you let me win something for you”

“You don’t have to do that, I mean you’ve already don-“

“Then I’ll just carry you the whole way home, this isn’t even my final form Jake, I could carry you _all night long_.”

He sighs and then nods, avoiding eye contact. I give him a grin as I pinch his blushing cheek before letting him down.

 

            “Skeeball?” Jake asks as you feed your tokens into the machine.

“Hell yeah Skeeball, gives out the most tickets, besides someone gotta be impressive”

“Oh well in that case,” Jake steps up to the ramp next to yours and feeds it a few tokens, “guess it’s my turn” he picks up a ball and rolls it right in the 100 point shoot. He turns to you, looking smug, “Might wanna wipe off the drool, don’t want anyone to slip.”

You want to kiss him. Bad. So bad that the only reason you don’t is because if you did you wouldn’t stop and Jake wouldn’t want to subject every little Suzie and Billy in the place to such a scene so you hold yourself back. Barely.

Instead you huff out a laugh and begin your game, “I’m winning you a prize English, the most obnoxious prize I can afford.”

“Not if I don’t win you something first”

You smirk, “Challenge fucking excepted.”

 

            “What the fuck am I holding?” Jake looks at the obnoxiously over-sized stuffed animal in his arms.

“It’s an Axolotl, and it cost me three thousand fuckin tickets so you better treasure it always”

“Of course I will, I’ve just never bloody seen such a creature, it’s actually kind of cute”

“Not as cute as my kickass Jackalope” You are totally _not_ going to sleep with this stuffed mythical deer-bunny, no sir.

“Hey Dirk?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for today” He smiles at you and you almost everything in your power not to grin like an idiot.

“Don’t mention it Jakey” You ruffle his hair and he jokingly give you a hip check. You wrap an arm around his shoulder and you’re half surprised he lets you keep it there as you both walk out of the arcade.

 

            You walk with him up the steps to his front door, he turns to you, probably to say he had a fun time and good night but before you let him, before you hear the tell-tale sound of ol’ granny’s bullet being chambered you decide to go for it. You lean in and kiss him. It catches him off guard, you feel him stiffen and the thought of leaning back and playing it off as a joke seems appealing for about two seconds before leaving your mind completely when you feel him lean into it.

Then another thought pops into your head, _he’s into it_.

You feel strong hands on your lower back and entangled in your hair.

_Really_ into it.

You don’t know how long you two stand outside of Jake’s house making out on his stoop but _hell_ if you care! Jake proves he’s the smartest between the two of you when he pulls away to breathe.

_Oh yeah, we need air don’t we? Air_ is _pretty important._

_More important than Jake though? Debatable._

“I had a fun time Dirk, we should do this again”

“Y-Yeah” You reply dumbly, you probably look dumb too.

He backs up a few steps but is still looking at you, “Same time next week?”

“Yeah” You’re more awake now that you’re not sharing the same air

 He grins ear to ear, “Great, it’s a date!”

You smile back, “It’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> DDR Songs:  
> \- [Only You by Captain Jack](%E2%80%9C<a)  
> \- Butterfly  
>  ~~If you were wondering what an[ looked like.](http://www.factzoo.com/sites/all/img/amphibians/axolotl-white.jpg)~~


End file.
